


Class Is In Session

by Bookworm4567



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: 1980s, Cherri being Cherri, Gen, I stole from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, No Smut, sex ed, uncomfortable Angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27635395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm4567/pseuds/Bookworm4567
Summary: Angel asks Cherri to teach him how to have sex with women. He didn't expect her to be quite so eager.
Relationships: Angel Dust & Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Class Is In Session

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ladynoir_is_back](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladynoir_is_back/gifts).



_"I need ya to teach me how to have sex with a chick"_

Cherris brain short circuited for a moment and she almost dropped the reciever of her new rotary phone "Uh...you what?"

Angel huffed _"I know it sounds weird! Look, Val told me that I'm gonna hafta sleep with broads too and that I need to learn how ta make 'em happy! There's no way in Hell I'm askin' Molly so I thought you might help me"_

"Uh..." Cherri replied, twirling the phone chord around her fingers "Okay. Okay, when you say 'Teach' what exactly does that mean?"

_"Not sex I promise! I just figured...maybe...you could just tell me how ta do it?"_

"...Like...with my body, or-"

_"I'm not askin' ya to sleep with me"_

"You sure? Because this sounds like you're just trying to get into my pants, Angie."

_"I'm not tryin' to sleep with you, dammit!"_

"I knew that you were hot for me. Not even the gayest man could resist this hot bod-"

_"IM NOT TRYING TO FUCK YOU, BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT, BUDDY? FUCK OFF!"_

Cherri laughed merrily, enjoying her fun "Okay, okay! Be here in half an hour, I'll help you out, gay-lord"

_"Eat me, suger tits"_

"Okay, now you really sound like you wanna screw-"

_"Fuck off!"_

Cherri was howling as she was hung up on and dropped the reciever back into the cradle. She wiped her eye and planted her hands on her hips.

Okay, so Angie was looking for a little sex education, huh? Well, as the old saying went 'Ask and you shall receive!"

Now, did she have any apples left?

*

Forty five minutes later Angel walked into Cherri's apartment. He was wearing his preferred blazer and skirt so he'd obviously stopped to change, and Cherri almost giggled at the thought that he'd done it to further convince her that they wouldn't be boning.

She led him to her living room which held a bright red leather couch, a large TV and a coffee table which was covered by a suspiciously bulging black cloth. Cherri parked him on her bright couch and sat herself down on the seat next to him.

"So! Let's talk about sex!" Cherri beamed. Angel rolled his eyes.

"Let's just get this over with..."

Cherri cocked her head "What, you're not excited? About _sex?"_

"Not sex with ladies! Vaginas are weird and boobs are all...smooshy!"

"Hey, some people like smooshy! And if your going to have sex with women you're gonna need to know a lot about them, smooshiness notwithstanding."

Angel threw up his hands "Alright! Lay it on me, babe!"

"Will do!" Cherri rose up and went to the middle of the room. Above her was a thin chord that hung from the ceiling, and the grinning demon grabbed it "First things first: the female body!"

She yanked the chord down and Angels eyes nearly popped out of his head "What the fuck is _that?!"_

Cherri shrugged "What? You never seen a detailed diagram of the female body before?"

"You just have this? In your apartment?!"

"Hey, some jackasses need a fuckin' lesson first, okay? Now, we're gonna start with erogenous zones-"

"Bitch, please, I already know those!"

Cherri raised her eyebrow "Oh yeah?"

Angel raised one back "Yeah!"

"Well, let's see, shall we? Zone number one!" She pointed on the diagram. Angel scoffed.

"Know it!"

"Zone number two"

"Everybody knows that one!"

"Three"

"Ya know that ones for guys, too, right?"

"Four"

"Wait, what?"

"Five"

"F-five?!"

"Six aaaand seven!"

Angels eyes were wide in his head as he stared at the diagram "There are...there are _seven?!"_

Cherri grinned widely, baring her long, white fangs in glee "Class is in session, baby!"

*

After she'd taught him the basic erogenous zones and how to work them, they moved on to the next stage: foreplay.

"I'm not gonna see you naked, right?"

"You should be so fuckin' lucky, bitch! No way, I had a way better idea!"

With a flourish Cherri whipped off the black cloth covering her coffee table. When Angel saw what was on it, he physically recoiled.

"What the hell is _that?!"_

Cherri smiled "My learnin' tools. I made them myself, do you like them?"

"Uuuh..."

"Think of it this way, with these you don't have to see me naked or touch my boobs"

Angel clapped his hands "Let's do this!" he picked up one of Cherri's 'tools', then frowned "Cherri, what the fuck is this?"

"Its a pussy!"

Angel looked sideways at her "...Babe, its half an apple with orange slices stapled to the sides"

"Well, I wanted it to look realistic! Okay, now I'm gonna show you how to go down on a chick" she picked up a malformed apple slice herself and raised it to her face "Now, one thing you gotta know is that all guys think its about the clit, but when your first heading in that's not where you wanna be. You wanna _tease_ the girl first, make her beg for your tongue, so first you go for the lips"

To demonstrate, Cherri slid her own tongue out and licked lewedly up and down the strategically placed orange slices "Sucking doesn't hurt, either!" she added, sucking an orange slice gently into her mouth. Once she was done, she turned to Angel, who looked slightly grossed out "Now you"

Angel grimanced "I don't wanna, looks nasty"

"Hey, you said you wanted to learn, yeah? This is how. Come on, do it!"

"Okay, okay! Fuck..." cringing Angel raised his apple and started copying what Cherri had done. Well, sort of.

"What the fuck is that? Don't poke it with your tongue, its not a fuckin' bowl of suger!"

"Well its weird! Its all squishy and it tastes like orange!"

"You're a porn star, you've had worse! Just pretend its a really tiny ass!"

"This is so fuckin' weird..."

"It ain't that weird, now suck!"

"I hate oranges!"

"Suck!"

Angel sucked. And then he gasped and his eyes bulged as he beat at his throat _"Orange slice! Orange slice!"_

 _"Oh fuck! I gotcha babe!"_ Cherri leapt on him and pulled him into a Heimlich, jerking his body as he choked.

"I promise! This! Does! Not! Happen! With! The real! Thing!"

Angel wheezed.

*

"Okay, let's move onto boobs"

After their...exciting, endeavour with the apples, Angel and Cherri were now holding a pair of pink water balloons, the ties were painted to look like multicoloured nipples and Angel was really starting to worry about just how much Cherri was invested in this.

"Now, what ya wanna do with these is squeeze, suck, stroke and nip. Like so" Cherri softly squeezed her water balloon, making it bulge "You don't wanna squeeze too hard, it aint a fuckin' stress ball, just let her tell you how hard she wants it. After that you mix it up, you can suck-" she took the 'nipple' between her lips and gave it a gentle suck.

"Stroke-" she ran her thumbs along the pink rubber.

"And nip" she took the 'nipple' out of her mouth and closed her fangs around it, then removed the balloon "Trust me, most girls love having their tits played with so take in as much info as you can. You wanna try?"

"Sure!" Angel nodded and sat up straighter "I can do this, its just tits, right? Not rocket science..."

"Exactly. Okay, now try squeez-"

_SPLOOSH!_

Water splashed all over Angel and Cherri, cutting her off and leaving Angel with the tattered rubber of his balloon. Cherri wiped her face. Angel chuckled nervously.

"Uh...Any chance chicks like-?"

"No. No woman likes having her tits exploded, Angel"

"Oh" he looked down at the dead balloon, water dripping from his hair "Guess I gotta go easy with the claws, huh?"

"Gee, ya think?!"

*

After the balloons, Cherri decided to move on to their next lesson: practice.

"Wait, you WHAT?!"

"Well, you wanna be able to seduce a real girl, dontcha?" Cherri said, getting up "So, let's get a girl in here!"

"What, you just have one hidden on ya bedroom?!" Angel called as she disappeared into it. His eyes widened "Mother fucker, Molly's here?!"

"No! Like I'd let ya flirt with my girlfriend, she's too good for you, bitch!" Cherri came out of her room, a wide smile on her face "Angel Dust, meet Vanessa!" 

"...Babe. Thats a blow up sex doll"

"Well, yeah! You didn't think I was gonna bring a real girl, did ya? Come on, you just exploded a boob! This way you can practice what youve learned on a girls body!"

"That ain't a real girl! Thats a fuckin' doll!"

Cherri gasped and covered the dolls ears "How dare you, she has a name!"

Angel threw up his hands "Alright, fuck this shit I'm out!"

"Oh come on!"

"Out, I'm out!"

"Angie, just give it a shot!"

"No fuckin' way, weirdo!"

"Come on! She's _bendy!"_

_SLAM!_

Cherri sighed, patting Vanessa on her plastic shoulder "Okay...I guess we'll just pick it up tomorrow then!"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having way too much fun writing Cherri Bomb, lately. I hope this was enjoyable, comment and kudos!


End file.
